Whiners

Depending on the day and situation, Whiners can be annoying, destructive, time-wasters, ridiculous, and occassionally entertaining in their complete self-obsession and lack of self-responsibility. Here are a few of my favorite Whines from the vintage Whine cellar (and please feel free to send in your favorite personal selections). -

"I had no idea you  were keeping track of when I got to work.  If I had, I would have been on time." – Delivered by an indignant employee shocked when he was disciplined for constantly being late.

"They were like, expecting me to be nice to people and smile and be happy all the time. Yuck.  I couldn’t work in a place like that." – Piece of a conversation I overheard in a Starbucks between two college-aged girls, as one explained why she had quit her job.

"You can’t fire me just because of those little mistakes." – Delivered by an employee after she was dismissed for all the following:  1) arrested for shoplifting  and possession of heroin while on a company-sponsored trip,  2) missed a  day of important meetings while in jail (and she didn’t tell us she was in  jail so we had teams of people searching for her), 3) improper use of a company credit card.  And all this during her first 30 days of employment!  Her future is so bright I need to wear sunglasses!

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Please allow me to start with a caveat….  we all whine sometimes.  I can be a pathetic whiner about the most minor problems.  And whining is not always bad.  It can often be a bit cathartic – like screaming or full contact karate.  (Actually, screaming and full contact karate are probably not appropriate in the workplace).  But, there is occasional normal whining, and then there are the people who have made whining an essential component of their personality.   And as any manager in the workplace will tell you, there is no one more frustrating to manage then a full-fledged Whiner, and aside from the Weasel, no personality attribute is potentially more dangerous to the organization. 

Whiners are frustrating from a number of perspectives.  Often they are otherwise talented individuals with much to offer the organization, but due to their own insecurities, distrust, and ego issues they quickly top out.  They create problems and controversy where none exists.  They thrive on dissension and the creation of needless politics.  They attempt to divert attention from their own inadequacies and lack of self esteem by creating fictional problems for everyone to analyze. 

Managers often clearly see the Whiner’s potential, and may invest enormous amounts of time and energy in an effort to convert them into a Worker or Warrior. But unfortunately the Whiner’s mindset is often too deeply ingrained.  Instead of working with the team to develop solutions, they prefer to concentrate on and communicate problems.   In any case, effective managers need to take immediate action when they see a Whiner emerge in the office, as left unchecked they can reek havoc.  In my book I refer to the most damaging kind of Whiners as "Opinionators" – Whiners that for whatever reason have built enough credibility in the organization as to sway attitudes.

Opinionators can be cancer to an otherwise healthy company – spreading discontent, inventing problems, and converting impressionable Workers and budding Warriors into Whiners.  I have seen many situations when management took too long to respond to Whiner problem – and let the cancer spread until it was terminal for the organization.  Sometimes with proper management a Whiner can be put in check, and while they always pose a bit of a challenge, they can be an asset to the organization.  One effective way to deal with Whiners – give them responsibility to solve the problem they are whining about.  Make them part of the solution so they can’t complain about the problem.  Rabid and unrepentant Whiners need to be eliminated from the company in the most efficient way possible. 

One of the reasons I wrote Warriors, Workers, Whiners, & Weasels was to develop an easy lexicon to deal with these kind of problems.  In my own organization employees understand the classification system,  And so when I say "you are being a Whiner" the problem is clearly defined.  And the classification system saves time and adds clarity.  For many people transition to becoming a Whiner was subtle and took time and acceptance from those around them.  Had they been confronted with their metamorphosis, they might not have become so insufferable. 

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Certainly, we have all experienced the Whiner in a workplace.  Whiners might be competent workers, but their negativity and dissatisfaction overshadow their performance.  Often, their whining is a mask for their incompetence.  They spend a disproportionate amount of time complaining about others and blaming everyone else for their personal lack of success. They usually attempt to recruit more Whiners from the workplace, creating dissatisfaction among the Workers.

Often, Whiners are Warrior-wannabes.  Sadly enough, they are frequently talented, possessing many Warrior attributes, with the exception of some of the most important Warrior traits: self-responsibility and respectfor relationships.  Warriors know that if they fail, the failure belongs to them, regardless of the circumstances of the failure.  Whiners take the opposite approach.  Anything bad that happens is someone else’s fault.  They occupy the victim’s seat in business and life, and they find it easy to turn on their friends if they need to shift blame.

One of their great pleasures in life is to contemplate and spread other’s troubles (hence they tend to be big gossipers), as it provides a welcome distraction from their obsession with their own perceived problems. Though you occasionally meet people who have been ingrained Whiners from birth, it is normally a process one goes through that culminates by the time someone is in his or her mid-20s.  It is important for parents and managers to observe those who are adopting Whiner traits so they can perhaps be turned before they make the final transition. Whiners are innately critical of everyone but themselves and cynical of everything around them. They manage to find a problem even with good news, and like a spreading parasite, they seek to convert the contented around them into Whiners.

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