Politics

As reported in various news outlets, blogs, and even The Daily Show, freshman Senator Al Franken just had his first big win in the Senate, passing a bill that would punish government contractors  who “restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court”. 

Now you might be suprised that such a bill is even necessary.  First of all, what kind of company would stop their employees from taking action if they are sexually assaulted?  Actually, the bill is a result of actions by Halliburton, after they attempted to cover up the abduction, drugging, and gang rape of one of their employees.  Dick Cheney’s old company has some very unusual personel policies! 

Perhaps more importantly, why would any sane Senator vote against a bill that essentially tells companies that if they want to do business with the government they can’t support rape?  Well, there were lots of excuses for that one.  A few felt we were picking on poor old Haliburton, or that we would force people out of arbitration and into the courts (personally I think rapists should have to go to court). But just in case you were wondering how your Senator feels about rape, here is a list of the thirty that voted against the amendment and feel doing business with companies that support rape is OK:

• Alexander (R-TN)
• Barrasso (R-WY)
• Bond (R-MO)
• Brownback (R-KS)
• Bunning (R-KY)
• Burr (R-NC)
• Chambliss (R-GA)
• Coburn (R-OK)
• Cochran (R-MS)
• Corker (R-TN)
• Cornyn (R-TX)
• Crapo (R-ID)
• DeMint (R-SC)
• Ensign (R-NV)
• Enzi (R-WY)
• Graham (R-SC)
• Gregg (R-NH)
• Inhofe (R-OK)
• Isakson (R-GA)
• Johanns (R-NE)
• Kyl (R-AZ)
• McCain (R-AZ)
• McConnell (R-KY)
• Risch (R-ID)
• Roberts (R-KS)
• Sessions (R-AL)
• Shelby (R-AL)
• Thune (R-SD)
• Vitter (R-LA)
• Wicker (R-MS)

Not to be unpatriotic, but America has been looking particularly stupid lately. Perhaps it is due to our non-stop diet of faux-news, or too much mercury in our diets, but as a society we are so angry and misinformed that we are missing some of the really important developments that are occurring around us. Here is one fact that I think we should all be really concerned about –

For the first time in the history of the United States we are producing a generation that is less educated than the last generation.

Well, perhaps we are becoming more stupid, and we are passing the stupidity down to future generations. From an educational perspective, including the percentage of our population that graduates from college, we have been slipping, and we are now a tier-two country. Our fear of taxes and big government has caused a shift away from funding towards education. American society is simply unwilling to pay to educate our population. This has dire consequences for the future of the United States. Educated populations build successful, healthy, affluent societies. America has traditionally led the world with great educational institutions, and core values that stressed the importance of education. We have a great history of ancestors that worked hard to make sure their children were better educated than they were. We should all fear a future where education is no longer valued.

Ah, the Scots. I used to think they were a fine people, sort of “Irish Light”. Big jovial folks that shared my love of fly fishing, kilts and freckled women. But that all changed for me last week when they released the mass murderer responsible for killing dozens of Americans. Convicted Lokerbie bomber Abdel Bassett al-Megrahi received a heroes welcome in Libya after brain-dead bureacrats in Scotland sent him home on humanitarian grounds.

While American politicians (and most of the sane world) have condemned the Scottish actions, I have been suprised to see that the American public has been fairly subdued in their reaction.  After all, we were the people that went on a protacted anti-French rage for a year when they dared disagree with George Bush (hmm, they seemed to know something we didn’t)!  To maintain our patriotism,  we went months drinking only Californian and Italian wines, and had to order our Big Macs with Freedom Fries. 

So what to do about Scotland that really does deserve some retribution? Well, perhaps the problem is there is much less of Scotland infused in our culture.  Year ago I had already given up eating the primary Scottish culinary export – Haggis. (For the few of you that don’t occassionally enjoy a big plate of Haggis – it is a hearty dish containing the liver, heart, and lungs from a sheep, robustly blended with onion, oatmeal, salt, suet and spices. It resembles a stuffed intestine. A perfect dish for a Sunday brunch with cannibals.)

I am more than willing to give up going to Scottish movies, but I can’t really name one.  And I will pledge not to buy any Scottish cars. But somehow that is still not enough.

Wait a minute, there is one thing Scottish many of us enjoy – Scotch – perhaps the most important thing to ever come out of Scotland. The tasty, smoky booze that has provided me so much entertainment (and many horrible hangovers) over the years.  I suggest that effective immediately all of America boycott Scotch!  And in it’s place I have a recommendation.  Drink Tyrconnell Single Malt Irish Whiskey.  The Irish have been making Tyrconnell since 1762, so they have really perfected the formula.  And who knows more about drinking than the Irish! Just as smooth and full of flavor as the best Scotch single malt, but produced by the lovely and lyrical Irish who don’t coddle baby murderers!

Ah Politicians…. why do you keep disappointing us? Just when we think you are smart and have our best interests at heart, you do something really stupid and selfish.

Case in point…. the Congressman from my district, Brian Baird, a politician I voted for and have always admired, is now under fire for a fact finding trip he and ten members of Congress took to investigate global warming. The group visited a research site in The South Pole, then made a stop at the Great Barrier Reef to do a little diving. Then they took a number of side trips around Australia, probably to see if global warming was having an impact on the quality of Australian beer.  Baird is an experienced diver, and he personally took three dives to check out the coral beds.  And the tab to the taxpayers – somewhere north of $500,000.

Of course, that’s $500,000 for ten people, so the trip only cost about $50,000 per person.  Now that might not sound like much of a bargain to the many Americans who opted for a “staycation” this year, because they only had a budget of $50 for the entire family.  But Baird defends the expense, saying “I know not all congressional travel is justified.  As for this trip I feel the knowledge we gained was absolutely essential”.  Does that knowledge include how to throw a shrimp on the barbi from forty feet while dancing the limbo with a Mai Tai in your left hand?

The money issue aside, the ten high flyers took a private government jet for the escapade.  There is something inately wrong about flying around the world in a private jet to look into the dangers of global warming.  It’s kind of like injecting yourself with heroin to investigate the drug problem.  Congressman Baird, next time please call me when you want to see some signs of global warming.  I would be happy to take you and your friends on a hike into the Washington Cascades and show you what is happening in your own district.  I won’t charge you, and afterwards you can even take a swim in my pond.  Feel free to bring your scuba gear!

I don’t want to be one of those bloggers that spreads awful unfounded rumours, but there is a very disturbing and persistant story floating around.  According to many potentially credible sources, Rush Limbaugh is dating a goat.  And by goat I’m not using a derogatory term for a cast member from The Golden Girls, but actual braying livestock.

Rush was seen last week cruising a Miami suburb in a white Escalade; a large white goat happily riding shotgun next to him.  A toll booth attendant that wanted to remain anonymous reported the following. “Rush pulled up to pay the toll, and when I looked over he was feeding a head of lettuce to the goat.  Then he leaned over with a piece of tomato sticking out of his mouth, and fed it to the goat like a lover sharing a piece of candy. Then he gave the goat a little kiss.  Most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”   

At the Ritz Carlton in New York a maid reported seeing Limbaugh check into a suite with a large portable dog kennel in tow.  When she cleaned the room the next day she noticed the sheets were covered with coarse white hair and one of the pillows had been chewed.  “I didn’t think it was strange at the time, since a lot of bald guys have hairy backs and they tend to shed and chew at night”, she said, “but when I heard he was dating a goat it all seemed to make sense.”

Limbaugh reportedly became a goat lover a couple years ago while still addicted addicted to prescription drugs.  While under the influence of Oxicotin and fortified wine he called an escort service to order some companionship, but in his deranged state accidentally called a goat breeding operation.

Lance Rollins, Chairman of NAMGLA (North American Man Goat Love Association) says he isn’t suprised.  “I know that people find it strange and maybe a little perverse, but until you have actually spent a little time with a goat you can’t imagine what terrific and sensuous companions they are. You can’t believe what a good goat will do. I hope Rush will come forward and help bring man / goat love societal acceptance.”

Not everyone is as accepting of Limbaugh’s new companion.  Ester Bell, head of the KCSPA (Kansas City Society For The Protection of Animals), said she and her group plan to protest next month when Limbaugh is in town addressing the annual convention for KAWT  (Keep America White and Tight). “I don’t care how famous he is.  He has no right to date farm animals”, said Bell.

Of course, all this is simply conjecture, as there has been no official acknowledgement from Rush that he is actually dating a goat.  But on a recent show Lou Dobbs summed it all up. “I’ve been following the Limbaugh Goat Dating controversy.  I know Rush, and I don’t believe that he would actually date a goat.  But Rush also has not provided any proof that he is not in a relationship with an animal.  I think he owes that to America.” Despite the fact that Dobbs does not think Limbaugh is dating a goat, he continues to feature guests on his show that claim first hand knowledge of the relationship.

The Limbaugh Goat Love Triangle has deflected attention from the last rampant web controversy which coincidentally included Limbaugh and Dobbs.  Both commentators joined other conservatives in spreading the unfounded rumour that President Obama was not born in the USA, and was actually some long-term Muslim “Manchurian Candidate” plant  designed to ultimately overthrow America.  Despite the fact that there is substantial evidence to conclusively prove the President was born in the US, they continued to propagate the rumour to boost ratings.

Though I am no supporter of Limbaugh, even I find it hard to believe he is in a relationship with a goat.  But one has to wonder, why won’t he prove he isn’t?

The recently launched “cash for clunkers” program has been so successful that it has already burned through its initial funding, and now Congress is voting on adding $2 billion more dollars to the program. But here’s an even better idea.  How about letting Japan fund this next round, since five of the top ten cars that are being sold as a result of the program are Japanese?

OK, perhaps the news is not all bad, as American cars do make up four of the top ten, and the number one seller is the Ford Focus.  In fact, Ford did OK with the number one and number five picks. Here is a list of the top ten sellers from the program:

1. Ford Focus
2. Honda Civic
3. Toyota Corrolla
4. Toyota Prius
5. Ford Escape
6. Toyota Camry
7. Dodge Caliber
8. Hyundai Elantra
9. Honda Fit
10. Chevy Cobalt

Interesting to note that virtually all the clunkers traded in were American SUVs and mini-vans, with the Ford Explorer topping the list, followed by the Jeep Grand Cherokee.

For many of the participants, politics seems to inevitably lead to hypocrisy. Say one thing, do another. Preach family values, play with a visiting “Uncle Willy” in a public bathroom. Pontificate about serving the public, and stash payoffs in your freezer.

And as reported last week in The Wall Street Journal, if you are Charlie Rangel, Chairman of the Ways And Means Committee, politics means lecturing about how paying higher taxes is the “moral” thing to do, while not paying your taxes. Rangel has been a proponent of a new 5.4% tax surcharge, going on record as saying paying more taxes right now is the moral thing to do. But while Rangel lectures about morality, he does the following when it comes to paying his own taxes:

• He failed to pay taxes on $75,000 in rental income generated from a luxury home he owns in The Dominican Republic. And despite his promises to rectify the situation and pay what is due, he missed the date to refile in May and has still not done the “moral thing” and paid his taxes.
• Perhaps on  reason he does not want to declare this income is because he enjoys living in a rent-controlled apartment, and he would lose his rent controlled status if he makes more than $175k per year.  Another good financial reason not to do the “moral thing”.
• He also claimed ignorance of the fact that the mortgage for $52k he took out on his Dominican home was mysteriously converted into an interest-free loan by the developer.  I don’t know how much money Charlie has, but most people (even the very rich) would notice if one of their mortgages mysteriously was converted into an interest-free loan.  And this transaction seems to also be a clear violation of the House rules on gifts.  Also, why would any developer give someone an interest-free loan?  Could there be an expectation of some favor done in Washington?
•  Rangel also appears to have improperly taken a “homestead exemption” to save taxes on his Washington DC home.

Luckily we seem to be aggressively pursuing these kind of questionable ethics.  Rangel is currently being investigated by The House Ethics Committee.

The President is moving aggressively to combat our economic crisis, and as promised, this will have some impact on our taxes.  Basically as President Obama warned, the middle-class will pay less, and the rich will pay more.  The plan includes approximately one trillion in tax increases over the next decade on earners that make over $250k a year.  To put it into perspective, a couple with children and a joint income of $500k a year would see a tax increase of about $11,300 per year if all the provisions are passed.  A few specifics –

• The top two tax rates increase from 33% to 36% – and from 35% to 39.6% starting in 2011.
• There will be additional limitations of deductions and exemptions.
• Tax rates on capital gains and dividends will increase.

It is especially interesting to note that in the midst of our real estate crisis, there is a move to lower the value of deductions on home interest. Households that currently pay in the highest tax rates of 33% and 35% would only be allowed to deduct interest at the 28% rate.  On the surface this would seem counter to our goal of getting the real estate market moving again, but Obama’s experts point out that it is primarily the well-off that benefit from this deduction (households with an income of $200k or more account for 30% of all mortgage deductions), so in all likelihood this would not negatively impact real estate sales.

This is a tricky dance for the President.  On one hand he needs to raise taxes, but in such a way that he doesn’t eliminate incentives that keep business Warriors moving the economy forward.  But if there was ever a time in history when a President had the political capital to pull this off – I think it is now.  I was in San Francisco last night having dinner with a very wealthy friend, and we both agreed that we would happily see our taxes increase to get the economy moving.  A few thousand dollars a year in taxes seems like a good investment if it can solidify the economy, and help the stock market gain ground on the massive losses.

Certainly President Obama has many more pressing issues to deal with than my humble requests, but if he does have a spare moment, here is a simple idea to consider that I think would make a lot of people happy.

Quit making me undress and be strip searched when I go to the airport.

While a modicum of security at the airport is a necessity, we have created a ridiculous and hugely expensive system that only serves to support the Bush Fear Doctrine (keep people afraid and they might not realize how incompetent the administration is).  Obama doesn’t need to play that game. Bush is on his way back to Texas to drink beer, clear brush, and watch baseball.

The 9/11 terrorists spent years in preparation, and went to flight school to attack us.  Any reasonably competent terrorist could figure a way to get a weapon onboard a plane despite the silly security system we have built. Or, they will attack a mall or a Hooters Restaurant (terrorists seem to be sexually obsessed – and I bet they hate Hooters), or perhaps The Pirates of The Caribbean ride at Disneyland.  Seeing an obese woman in a uniform “feel up” a ninety-year-old great grandmother in a wheelchair does not make me feel secure.  I think I face more risk from walking barefoot through a dirty airport than another terrorist attack. 

So, eliminate the army of wand-wielding airport Nazis, and use the money to hire teachers and maybe put solar panels on airports.  And if we are really serious about national security going forward, somebody keep an eye on Cheney!  He’s really dangerous.

Not to depress you with statistics this early in the new year, but I found some recently released numbers from JP Morgan interesting.  Here is a random sampling that gives some indication of the real numbers behind the recession:

• S&P Index – down 37% in 2008
• The average stock in the index was down 40%
• S&P earnings growth is down over 24%
• Unemployment is at 6.7% – the highest level since the early 90′s.  However, this is a little less depressing when compared to the 50 year average of 5.9% and a high of around 11% in the early 80′s
• An astounding 57% of US Treasuries are owned by foreigners.  This contrasts to 12% thirty years ago.
• Our GDP per capita last year was $45,800 – which still compares favorably to every other country. Canada was at $38,600, Germany at $34,100, Japan at $33,500, and India at $2,600.
• On the negative side, world-wide GDP growth was just under 3%, but the US experienced no growth.